I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
third nipple confirmed
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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