Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
