so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
