Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
