I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
