my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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