Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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