drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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