If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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