it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
