super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize