Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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