His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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