can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
