i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
