a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize