Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
