WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
