so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
