Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
