Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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