did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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