Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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