Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
