Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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