thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
