im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize