I'm sorry my penis didn't work
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
