Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
