I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
