Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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