I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
