I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I didn't notice because vodka
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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