haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
