i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
