I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
