how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
