So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm jealous of your bromance
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
