we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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