That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
