well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
