did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
