We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
