**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize