Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
