I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
