I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
MIDGETS
????
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
