kristin has been a bad kristin
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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