I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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