Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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