two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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