I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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