help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Vodka?
Forever.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize
