Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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