god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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