First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
