Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Boobs speak an international language.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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