He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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