this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
