How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
